There are times when it's ok to discard a chick's number. As evidenced by today's comic, OJ and I disagree on those times. We both agree that teenage girls are hot, but we differentiate somewhat in the extent to which we'll engage in unlawful or immoral behavior. Morals is a fickle subject, and one that's heavily dependent on exactly how sexy the teenager is and how far away her mom is. Teenage girls are like bite-sized snickers: Small and tasty. You know though, the legal age of marriage for a girl in Ancient Rome was 12. Ancient Romans also had vomitoriums in their homes, so one may question their wisdom. OJ would not though; he throws up every half hour when he drinks. So I guess you could say Rome had something for everyone.
I don't want my point to be misunderstood though. Young women, while they make excellent "eye candy", are also high-maintenace. Older women are generally less so and often know what the hell they're doing in bed. So if you want someone who's hot but needs more attention than a quadriplegic blind kid, date a teenager. If you want someone who will make you dinner, get you a beer, and then give you a blowjob while you watch Family Guy, date an older woman. These are obviously blanket generalizations. If you're a young woman with the sensibilites of an older one, you know how to reach me. If you're an older woman with the sensibilities of a younger one, you're the bane of men's existence.
Today's strip also illustrates another truism. The fact is that OJ is excellent with women when they're sitting naked in his lap. But the entire process leading up to that point occurs almost entirely by happenstance. It is incumbent of me as his friend to help guide him and his lady target along on this process, from soliciting her number, all the way up to getting her naked in his lap. All this though is really a self-important way of saying that OJ will invariably bang the women that I go through all the trouble of seducing in the first place. I guess it's what happens when he's sitting there being all cute and sweet, when I'm making the painstaking effort to get to know them. Am I bitter? Nah. I love the man..... fucking asshole.
~Fuzzy
Read the comic!
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