Hey Everybody!
My friends and I recently launched a webcomic about, yes, ourselves, and its finally developed enough to bring it to the peoples. I, for one, really respect the opinions of the people on this board, so I wanted to see what you guys thought about it! Any comments/suggestions would be great; we are always trying to improve it.
Its called Inside Joke, and we'd like to bring you in on it.
Thanks!
jfotos
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Thanks!
Thanks for the really in depth critique (and sorry for the late reply, I was at friends wedding). I agree with everything that you said, and really appreciate your advice concerning the lack of character developement and the need for more strips per story arc. Being that we are such a fledgling comic, our story arc about going to the beach was something that we were sure would be enough to show character developement, but it does seem like most of the characters are doing pretty much the same thing. I agree.
The character's ages are in the 22-24 range.
The art is something that I have been working really hard on lately, and I think you can already see improvements between the first and last of the 11 strips that have been made so far. I will continue to try to push it further. The blank backgrounds are something that we have done by concious choice. We wanted to have the title frame set up the setting of the strip if possible, and then have the characters interact with it verbally. Of course, when the setting becomes critical to the action, then it will be included.
Thanks for the words of encouragement, and I think with your advice this strip just might make it (and by make it I mean continue to be made).
Thanks so much again, and if you have anything else to add please let me know!
Thanks!
Joe Fotos
OK, good start
Inside Joke has promise, and I'd like to see more of it.
My comments are going to go heavy on the writing, because I know writing better than art:
The writing isn't bad, but it's pretty early to know how it will sustain itself. I'd like to see more delineation of the characters (writing-wise). That will take a fair number of strips to develop, so we see the characters in different situations. Also, you'll want to focus on just one character for a while (at least 2-3 strips, a few more is better) so your readers can get to know that one really well. Then move on to another. Right now, you have a lot of strips with everybody all doing pretty much the same activity (playing games, going to the beach, etc.) Sure, they are reacting somewhat differently, but I don't know them well enough yet to say to myself, "Oh, sure. The french-fry-headed guy would OF COURSE say that. That is just so him!" Another thing you could do to help the development of the characters is to spend more time in each situation. More strips, that is. Do 2-3 (or more) strips about Mary Worth. 2-3 strips about getting ready for the beach and 10 strips at the beach. This will not only give your readers more time to know the characters but will also stretch your ideas over a longer period of time. You have to decide if you like that kind of pacing. Some comics are hysterical because the pace is blindingly fast. Compare Beaver & Steve with Candi -- B&S is what I'd call fast, yet even IT has ideas that cross several strips. Candi can take a month in real-time to capture an event that takes a few hours in comic-time.
The art is OK, but not as strong as the writing yet. I'd like to see more activity in their body positions. I'd like to see the backgrounds filled in a bit more, although there are plenty of comics that have nothing filling in the background. Maybe just a splash of color and/or shadow?
Question: what are the characters' ages?
One point: some of the early strips are too small. I had a hard time reading them, but my eyes are old.
So, keep it going, 'cuz it's good enough to keep working it.
-- Vote Vito: Line Item Vito