No more Heroes.
Submitted by Faith on September 30, 2008 - 11:00
I can't take Heroes any more. I watched twenty minutes of it last night and then switched it off to play Mariokart. I dutifully downloaded and watched the premier last week and watching it was a chore. Every "earth-shattering" plot twist made me groan. Every line of dialogue made me roll my eyes. I don't like cringing while watching a TV show. And I say this as someone who enjoys (still!) the heck out of Masters of the Universe. There is bad entertainment, and then there is baaaad entertainment.
I've realized Heroes has changed from a wide-eyed newcomer's view of comic books (magical superpowers! nerd love! time travel! all are shiny and keen!) to being basically everything I can't stand about your standard serialized comic book:
1) Nobody dies. Because Claire has magical blood! Thus, no risk. Who cares if characters get shot/dismembered/lit on fire/buried alive, if they can just be resurrected in the next scene? Much like Superman, Jean Grey, Wolverine and many many more.
2) Everyone's related to everyone. Syler is the third Summers brother!
3) *Read issue #322 for explanation. Convoluted, scattered plot lines following characters who don't interact with each other, and stories that seem to go back years and years, creating a mythology that is dense and complicated and unfriendly to new readers. I say this as a dedicated Lost watcher: Heroes has way too much shit going on and too many characters nobody cares about.
4) Extremely obvious attempts to sex things up; characters wear illogical skimpy clothing. Put your damn shirt back on, Mohinder. Gross! You cannot seduce me with your oiled up body.
5) It's my gift, it's my curse. Why is it that comics somehow manage to angst the joy out of what should be really cool abilities? You can fly? Awesome! Now instead of enjoying that really nifty power, go angst behind the nearest dumpster because of something that happened in the past. Variations on "MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!!" work well.
6) Shoot them in the head! A continuation of Nobody Dies (especially villains). Time after time Syler is spared because ... why? Because he's a popular villain and the producers are too scared to actually off him and aaaarrrrrgh! I don't care! It doesn't make any sense that people who've seen a villain commit serial crimes and have a knowledge of powered individuals would actually let him live! Especially when he keeps getting knocked out and captured. But, of course, no one ever accused a comic book of being logical, so I guess Heroes is just following the pattern. A pattern of suck. Anyway, life is too short. I'm sure people will let me know if the show turns good again, but until that day, I'd rather watch 30 Rock a few million times through.
