Skip to main content

Auntie Hatred


Auntie Hatred
Originally uploaded by CalamityJon.

Our latest acquisition from the nearby Value Village, a three-foot tall oil painting of a woman who is profoundly perturbed at the viewer for some reason.

This thing is glorious in real life, it looks like one of those paintings in an old movie where the spot around the eyes pop out and someone can stand behind it and spy on you. Failing that, it looks like maybe this is one of those paintings that comes alive at night and murders you. Okay, one more: Somewhere there's a woman who, every time this painting looks angrier, gets more happy and fulfilled.

There were five of these paintings and they were all kind of like this; angry women. The one I ALMOST got was this one of a lovely young blonde woman holding a crying baby, and the look on her face was ... was pure contempt, and loathing. She HATED that baby. Then, below that, a picture of her standing next to a lamppost. The narrative is hard to assemble.

Not sure where to hang this thing, but it's been getting laughs sitting right outside the bathroom door, leaning up against the wall and staring at you like "What hell was percolating inside you, boy? I'm trying to drink my tea, here, and you're creating a toxic waste area, christ!"