El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: Eerie Cuties
Submitted by El Santo on October 5, 2009 - 14:07
We open Eerie Cuties with a segment called â€œEC Intro.â€ I had hoped would be an homage to EC Comics but instead turns out to just mean â€œEerie Cutie Intro.â€ Quelle dommage. A kid, who sorta looks like a young Duke from GI Joe, gets chased around by two cute vampire teenagers in jailbait miniskirts who look like they should be at a convention for magical girl manga cosplayers.
The taller, raven-haired girl is named Layla. She also wears an exasperated look 24-7, to the point that I think a permanent giant sweat drop should be attached to her head next to her living skull barrette. Before you can say youâ€™ve got a natural, natural, natural desire to meet an actual, actual, actual vampire, Layla digs her fangs into young Duke for a morning snack.
Of course, the bite is not fatal. (Itâ€™s tough to sympathize with vampires when theyâ€™re being emotionally manipulative mass murderers.) Bites only induce a temporary coma and a bout of memory loss. However, Nina, her purple-haired sister and the star of Eerie Cuties, still plays the part of the noble vampire: she never sups on human blood, only cherry filled chocolates. So while Nina is at low risk of contracting trichinellosis, she does run a high risk of Type 2 Diabetes.
Nina is accompanied by a living doll named Blair, who is supposedly a dude. (Tranny dolls: all the rage in Transylvania.) This character functions like Salem the cat from Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, only hornier and much, much creepier. For example, Blair likes burying her/his face into Ninaâ€™s below legal bosoms. This IS a GisÃ¨le LagacÃ© comic after all.
Layla introduces Nina (and the reader) to Charybdis Heights, a high school where its supernaturally inclined students can study away from the prying eyes of the Muggles. The school is a hodge-podge of different pop culture snippets. Youâ€™ve got Harry Potterâ€™s focus on magical children in magical classrooms, Haruhi Suzumiyaâ€™s school uniforms and relentless cuteness, and the Munstersâ€˜ character aesthetic toward the â€œcheap Halloween costumeâ€ look rather than any resemblance to actual creatures of the damned.
Like most stories about a school of freaks, simply sticking a bunch of weirdos in one room makes it a story about acceptance. (Never mind that the school seems to have a standing discrimination policy against normals.) If a guy in our world has a possessed hand and had an uncontrollable tendency to molest kids, typically us close-minded human types would, at the very least, stick him on a sex offender list. In Eerie Cuties, not only is he tolerated, heâ€™s on the school faculty and put in charge of a classroom full of young, nubile students. Thatâ€™s progressive thinking for ya.
Each chapter thus far is focused on Nina meeting and befriending characters who are fulfilling some sort of horror stereotype. Look, thereâ€™s Kade Whiteclaw, who bears a striking resemblance to Inu-Yasha except heâ€™s half cat! Yes, thereâ€™s nothing more frightening than a guy who might threaten to bat around a ball of yarn. Look, thereâ€™s a green-haired snake woman whose name, I kid you not, is Brooke Lynn. Sadly, she doesnâ€™t walk around yelling, â€œFugheddabouditâ€ or â€œOy vey!â€
However, not all students at Charybdis Heights see Nina as an eerily cute free spirit. Like a werewolf named Ace, for instance, whose name, I imagine, was his parentsâ€™ idea of a bad joke. He avoids Nina partially because heâ€™s a racist, plainly stating that historically vampires and werewolves donâ€™t get along. But, more likely, he doesnâ€™t like Nina because sheâ€™s an annoying little brat who â€œaccidentallyâ€ keeps seeing him naked. Seeing how nothing in Eerie Cuties really deviates from hard-coded anime stereotypes, the tension between Ninaâ€™s pesky intrusiveness and Aceâ€™s glowering indifference will be interpreted as romantic tension for many chapters to come.
And lest you forget that this is GisÃ¨le LagacÃ© webcomic, some girlâ€™s boobs inflate to ridiculous sizes.
Notable contributions to the vampire woman genre:
The relationship between vampires and werewolves has been done to death â€” and what vampire woman would really want to date one of those prancy, mopey vampire boys anyway? Living girls, maybe, but when youâ€™re a vampire, the last thing you want to be reminded of is the depressing ennui of being undead. Werewolves are more out-going and fun loving. If youâ€™re stumped for something to do for the evening, you can always play fetch.
However, this is the first time Iâ€™ve seen a vampire woman (Layla) get romantically involved with an Inu-Yasha.
Kade Whiteclaw, Laylaâ€™s â€œboyfriendâ€: â€œWadda cuuute doll! And a cute dress!â€
(This may explain why the vampire woman/Inu-Yasha thing isnâ€™t more prevalent.)
Important Life Lessons:
Donâ€™t judge a guy has got a grabby hand or wears a creepy mask to hide his balding head. It doesnâ€™t mean heâ€™s bad. Go ahead and give him a hug.
El Santoâ€™s predictions for where this story will go in the span of a year:
Meeting more characters, including an octopus-man, some sort of bugbear, and the gang from Scooby-Doo.