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El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: Eerie Cuties

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We open Eerie Cuties with a segment called “EC Intro.” I had hoped would be an homage to EC Comics but instead turns out to just mean “Eerie Cutie Intro.” Quelle dommage. A kid, who sorta looks like a young Duke from GI Joe, gets chased around by two cute vampire teenagers in jailbait miniskirts who look like they should be at a convention for magical girl manga cosplayers.

The taller, raven-haired girl is named Layla. She also wears an exasperated look 24-7, to the point that I think a permanent giant sweat drop should be attached to her head next to her living skull barrette. Before you can say you’ve got a natural, natural, natural desire to meet an actual, actual, actual vampire, Layla digs her fangs into young Duke for a morning snack.

Of course, the bite is not fatal. (It’s tough to sympathize with vampires when they’re being emotionally manipulative mass murderers.) Bites only induce a temporary coma and a bout of memory loss. However, Nina, her purple-haired sister and the star of Eerie Cuties, still plays the part of the noble vampire: she never sups on human blood, only cherry filled chocolates. So while Nina is at low risk of contracting trichinellosis, she does run a high risk of Type 2 Diabetes.

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Nina is accompanied by a living doll named Blair, who is supposedly a dude. (Tranny dolls: all the rage in Transylvania.) This character functions like Salem the cat from Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, only hornier and much, much creepier. For example, Blair likes burying her/his face into Nina’s below legal bosoms. This IS a Gisèle Lagacé comic after all.

Layla introduces Nina (and the reader) to Charybdis Heights, a high school where its supernaturally inclined students can study away from the prying eyes of the Muggles. The school is a hodge-podge of different pop culture snippets. You’ve got Harry Potter’s focus on magical children in magical classrooms, Haruhi Suzumiya’s school uniforms and relentless cuteness, and the Munsters‘ character aesthetic toward the “cheap Halloween costume” look rather than any resemblance to actual creatures of the damned.

Like most stories about a school of freaks, simply sticking a bunch of weirdos in one room makes it a story about acceptance. (Never mind that the school seems to have a standing discrimination policy against normals.) If a guy in our world has a possessed hand and had an uncontrollable tendency to molest kids, typically us close-minded human types would, at the very least, stick him on a sex offender list. In Eerie Cuties, not only is he tolerated, he’s on the school faculty and put in charge of a classroom full of young, nubile students. That’s progressive thinking for ya.

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Each chapter thus far is focused on Nina meeting and befriending characters who are fulfilling some sort of horror stereotype. Look, there’s Kade Whiteclaw, who bears a striking resemblance to Inu-Yasha except he’s half cat! Yes, there’s nothing more frightening than a guy who might threaten to bat around a ball of yarn. Look, there’s a green-haired snake woman whose name, I kid you not, is Brooke Lynn. Sadly, she doesn’t walk around yelling, “Fugheddaboudit” or “Oy vey!”

However, not all students at Charybdis Heights see Nina as an eerily cute free spirit. Like a werewolf named Ace, for instance, whose name, I imagine, was his parents’ idea of a bad joke. He avoids Nina partially because he’s a racist, plainly stating that historically vampires and werewolves don’t get along. But, more likely, he doesn’t like Nina because she’s an annoying little brat who “accidentally” keeps seeing him naked. Seeing how nothing in Eerie Cuties really deviates from hard-coded anime stereotypes, the tension between Nina’s pesky intrusiveness and Ace’s glowering indifference will be interpreted as romantic tension for many chapters to come.

And lest you forget that this is Gisèle Lagacé webcomic, some girl’s boobs inflate to ridiculous sizes.

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Notable contributions to the vampire woman genre:

The relationship between vampires and werewolves has been done to death — and what vampire woman would really want to date one of those prancy, mopey vampire boys anyway? Living girls, maybe, but when you’re a vampire, the last thing you want to be reminded of is the depressing ennui of being undead. Werewolves are more out-going and fun loving. If you’re stumped for something to do for the evening, you can always play fetch.

However, this is the first time I’ve seen a vampire woman (Layla) get romantically involved with an Inu-Yasha.

Memorable quotes:

Kade Whiteclaw, Layla’s “boyfriend”: “Wadda cuuute doll! And a cute dress!”

(This may explain why the vampire woman/Inu-Yasha thing isn’t more prevalent.)

Important Life Lessons:

Don’t judge a guy has got a grabby hand or wears a creepy mask to hide his balding head. It doesn’t mean he’s bad. Go ahead and give him a hug.


El Santo’s predictions for where this story will go in the span of a year:

Meeting more characters, including an octopus-man, some sort of bugbear, and the gang from Scooby-Doo.

Posted in anime, comedy webcomic, El Santo vs the Vampire Women, gothic, manga style webcomic, The Webcomic Overlook, webcomics Tagged: Eerie Cuties