El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: Wrap Up
Submitted by El Santo on October 31, 2009 - 04:00
Well, folks, it’s time to wrap up “El Santo vs. The Vampire Women” month. I reckon that, by now, you’re downright sick of any ladies with pointy canine. You are very tempted to wash out your mouth with listerine because you can almost taste the hemoglobin. You are tempted to say, “Santo, vampire women suck! And that is totally not a pun about them being vampires … or a double entendre, for that matter!”
Such is the menace of the vampire women. Their powers warp the minds of mere mortals.
In case you’re just tuning in, here’s a list of webcomics featuring vampire women that I covered in the month of October:
- Eerie Cuties – vampire schoolgirls have all the fun!
- School Bites – vampire schoolgirls are on the run!
- Annyseed – vampire schoolgirls …um … need some sun?
- Juliette: Worst Vampire Ever – vampire schoolgirls something something hot cross buns.
- Abandon: First Vampire – the vampire Lara Croft.
- Blood Bound – a vampire girl and her dog.
- Danielle Dark – real vampire women of Indianapolis!
- Last Res0rt – space furry vampires.
- My Immortal – vampire schoolgirls being handed a gun! By Lord Voldemort!
To coin a phrase that a famed mathematician of vampiric descent once said: “Nine! Nine
webcomics about vampire women! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!” *thunder, lightning*
So what did we learn from this experience?
Vampire women — despite doing creepy things like breaking into your house, talking to shrubbery, playing in reality shows, and eating Count Chocula drenched in human blood — are no different than you or me. They have urges, dreams, and a nasty habit of living for up to two to three millennia. Get to know your vampire women. There are many kinds. They range from schoolgirls to girls who go to school. In the best case scenario, befriending your local vampire can win you a powerful ally in the inevitable vampire armageddon. But, if all else fails, go ahead an stake them through the heart.
So where does El Santo go now?
Shall I do battle with mummies?
The Diabolical Axe?
More vampire women?
Perhaps all of them at once?
Only time will tell, mi amigos. Until next time, viva la raza.
A couple of shout outs to a couple of webcomics I had considered covering but for some reason or other didn’t make the cut:
- Bite Me! – This famous webcomic by Dylan Meconis deals with a group of vampires who live during the French Revolution. While the cover does show a vampire woman waving the French flag to lead the revolt, it turns out that this webcomic was more of an ensemble piece. The ironclad rule that I set for myself must not be broken!
- Youngbloods – I know what you’re thinking, but no… this isn’t that one superhero comic where beefy guys with no feet have names like “Badrock” and “Riptide.” This does, in fact, feature a vampire woman. There aren’t many webcomics featuring Black characters in the main character role. There are even fewer webcomics with a predominantly African American cast. Which is why Youngbloods caught my eye: it featured a young Black girl in the inner city caught up in a violent vampire gang war. I only found out about it this week, though, and at 188 pages I didn’t think I’d be able to read through the whole webcomic before October was through.
Who’s That Girl?
If you were wondering who the gal in my makeshift “El Santo vs. The Vampire Women” banner was,
wonder no longer. She is wrestling valet Shelly Martinez. When Shelley was in the indies, she went as “Halloween Barbie,” who I assumed was a vampire. I never watched her in action the, so I can’t confirm or deny, though. WWE fans remember her as the vampire Ariel, who debuted as a valet to Kevin Thorn. It’s this gimmick that’s being portrayed in the banner pic. She was also seen in TNA Wrestling playing the part of Salina, who was not a vampire. Recently, she quit that role to star in some Italian movies. Wrestling star and movie star? Sounds like she’s having a very El Santo career.
… thank you, everyone, for checking out the “El Santo vs. The Vampire Women” series. I’d like to think I introduced quite a few of the lesser known webcomics out there for folks who are in the mood for horror… even though most of the time it was the lighter side of horror. It’s an experiment I wouldn’t mind repeating again.
Interestingly, while searching out comics featuring vampire women, I ran across a comment on Websnark where the poster mentioned that he was surprised that there weren’t many vampire comics. That was probably true when he posted back in 2007. Nowadays, though, we got vampire comics coming out the wazoo! And with vampire in media going through a huge resurgence, there’s probably more to come.
And well, since this is Halloween, here’s a bonus video. I’d considered posting the trailer for the movie “Santo vs. The Vampire Women.” However, luchador movies are actually very difficult to watch, even for fans of bad movies like myself. The trailer was just a bunch of vampire women slowly emergine from their coffins and blinking menacingly. It’s very appropriate for this month’s theme, but it’s also very boring.
Trust me… this video is much more awesome by several magnitudes. It features luchadors (namely La Parka, the overweight luchador who dresses up as a skeleton), sexy women, and the Thriller (complete with Michael Jackson impersonator):