Open Soapbox: Webcartoonists Are Communists
Webcartoonists are communists.
That's right... they're all commies. Or maybe socialists, but that's as close as should make no difference to someone who is merely 'left-wing,' let alone decently 'conservative.' See, a REAL cartoonist is paid by a large, properly-capitalist organization called, in true Republican fashion, a Syndicate. He or she pours creative energy into work that is edited, collated, marketed, and pushed to the Free Press, where it can be shared with millions of humor-hungry people in exchange for newspaper subscriptions. It is The American Way (in America, and even in countries that claim to hate America... it's still the American Way.)
Webcartoonists, however, produce their "art" (and I use the term loosely) for no pay at all, and can therefore only survive in a society willing to support their 'donated' work -- a communist society, by definition. Some of these hacks create their webcomics for what they actually believe to be the common good, in an attempt to edify others.
Just like the feared "domino-effect" of international communism in the sixties, seventies, and eighties, their work and their philosophy spreads virally. Why, as little as ten years ago there were NO web comics, and now there are thousands, with the estimated number of webcomics more than doubling every year since 1993 (with the debut of the insidious Doctor Fun, whose "author" is clearly the vilifiable Karl Marx of webcartooning). At the current rate of growth, by the year 2025 one human being in two will be a webcartoonist.
Traditional values will have been long washed away in a tide of commie sympathizing, and countless millions will starve. Just one year later everyone will be a webcartoonist, and the invading aliens will mock our pathetic attempts to feed ourselves on the offal we call amateur humor. Then, wisely, they'll use their hemoglobin-combustion ray to destroy all so-called "higher" life-forms on the planet.
We can only hope they will not themselves be infected by the plague that is webcartooning, and that they'll vote Libertarian.
Or maybe Republican.