Nuclear Powered Toaster
Submitted by Compugasm on April 16, 2006 - 03:59
Nuclear Powered Toaster By: Matt Simpson & J. Uzcategui:
"I've decided to get into the production end of webcomics. I partnered up with a friend and we've produced a little strip called Nuclear Powered Toaster. I'd like to get some feedback on what we have so far, if y'all don't mind. See what needs to be tweaked."
I wonder about these things: After crash landing, the guy who got his ass-whipped by a chick, is in a T-shirt... in the frozen wilderness? Why do they have spaceships, but weaponry is an old west 6 shot revolver? No arc-plasma distruptors? Even Survivorman would be lucky to make it a week in the world your characters find themselves in. It made me wonder why they they're placed in the situation to begin with. Maybe it's too early, and enough of the story hasn't unfolded yet.
One thing I would like to see, is more background detail. You have space characters in Nuclear Powered Toaster, so they could litterally be anywhere in the universe. Where are we? Page #4 seems to be a Canadian wilderness place with ice and trees, but Pages #5 & #6 looked very barren and featureless. It might be a barren place, but it's hard to tell where they are. What time of day is it? Is it snow, desert, or neither? All these things you can convey to the reader, without too much effort. Take a look at this panel from The Spiders.
In the above example, I can tell this guy is in a desert. But even if this was in black and white, you might be able to guess where he is from, due to the style of dress and racial features. You can tell the period of time, from the weaponry, and time of day from shadows. The tweaks I think you need to make, are those small details.