"The Con:" The Survivor.
Submitted by Kris X on July 10, 2006 - 12:00
After being sucked away down the river of that which is The Con, I can now report what happened to it and its survivors.
After traveling for 2 hours from MA to CT, we crossed the bridge into Convention Land. No joke, we actually crossed a bridge. The water was not seen from the bridge, but we assumed it was there. Our tank rolled us into the parking garage and the strange events began to occur.
There is a creature at many Cons that you have already been told about or should be told about now. This creature is not of reality nor the fiction they play. In an average day city they would be considered crazy, but here they were quite common. Now, I've heard about cosplayers before, and I've seen documentations of them, but I've never experience them first hand.
Apparently (now bear with me) cosplayers are people from ages 2 to ungodly ages of 40-50s (the usual time mothers finally kick them out of their basements and/or they have a midlife crisis). Some of them are rightfully done, I will say, and caused me no alarm, but some... Oh god the horror. See, cosplayers usually recreate one of their favorite characters in form of costume ritual. They dress up to the best of their ability and for one weekend, they become so and so character.
My crew only approached one cosplayer the whole time. We asked if she would take OUR picture, but see... When a cosplayer sees a camera their natural reaction is to pose. We corrected her and told her we wanted her to take the picture, not us of her.
To make it short, because the cosplayers could be a chapter in themself, there was a many grouping of said players. I was disappointed that it appeared a majority were anime. Some cosplayers out of their habitat included Angel from the musical Rent and a few Jedi confused as to why they had no Vader to scold with plastic lightsabers.
Anyway, when we arrived and parked our automobile we had to find where The Con hibernated. This was easy enough as we followed the cosplayers leaking out of their cars to the main source. Being the first of our crew, Sprite and I ventured carefully into the Artist Colony. The colony was few left since we arrived on Sunday. Not too interested, we rolled back to the main area.
Now, anime and manga don't smell, but if they did then this Con reeked of it. I was once again disappointed. As an American style artist with love of the genre of real life fiction, I believe I was in the wrong place. We did get to meet a few webcomic folk (such as Stuff Sucks, Devil's Panties, and Dr McNinja), but it could have been happier.
10 minutes later, we had viewed the whole Con, I kid you not.
We returned to our meeting spot and joined up with the crew, who had now arrived. After about 15 minutes of The Con, we searched for food from the outside world.
Hartford, CT is a horrible-horrible town during Sunday. Everything was closed and 30 minutes later we found a Subway and feasted out killings.The town, minus a few cosplayers and Con-goers, was almost dead without a person on the street. It was eerie and we sensed a impending doom to come around the corner and eat us. Until then, we shielded from the sun and walked in the shadows it allowed us. Afterall, 95% of all artists of the internet are obviously allergic to the sun and we had all forgotten our vaccinations.
After food we returned to The Con. We found a place in the Artist Colony and set camp to draw in each others sketchbooks to pass the time. We became nervous when a cosplayer decided to take our picture and forced Stinky to document everything we did with pen and paper (near the end he had a break down and started drawing chibis and chibi-chibis, we ate him).
As The Con wrapped up after we wandered around for a while more, I found it overall harmless. Once we ate dinner, which took 3 hours to acquire (thanks a lot American Idol), we parted our ways and ventured to our dwellings once more.
I learned some very important things: 1. Get a Table, 2. Never return to Hartford, 3. Cosplay or be Cosplayed, 4. The Con can be defeated.