Hey Everyone and Your Mother!

Hey everyone and your mother – fuck you!

Why can't I offend you?

I wish I could piss people off. I've had kids playing crucifixion, had God say that every religion was wrong – I even said that God hates Danes – and nothin'. I made fun of addiction. I've made every Canadian joke there is – damned Canucks are too easy going, I guess. I just don't seem to be able to set people off.

Smurf Passover! Offended yet?

Why not?

Recently, I implied that God creates us and then abandons us, and all I got were comments about God's infomercial sweater.

BoxJam has counseled his daughter that he uses beer to get him through tough times. Hey people – that's crappy parenting – and crappy parenting is offensive!

One of the most popular gags I've ever done is BoxJam hating the orange guy, mostly just for existing – has anybody ever stopped and thought about that for half a minute?

All the cool webtoonists seem to be able to piss people off – they've got their Jesus' peanut butter cups and their asshole terrorists aren't cowards and their frogs with erections and all kinds of cool stuff like that – I bet on a dare, Scott Kurtz could post a strip that would have us all seething in 4 hours – these guys have got it goin' on. I want to hang with them and toss back a couple beers and talk about how cool and misunderstood we are, – 'cause you know that's what they do at their secret cool webtoonist meetings – but I can't figure out what the fuck I've got to do to annoy somebody. Through my art, that is. I can't figure out how to annoy somebody through my art.

Hey, is anyone here from Australia? Next time, pay attention, and be pissed off!

Next month, I'm going to post a strip where I out-and-out say that everything you believe is wrong and laughable. I just want to belong.

Motherfuckers.

BoxJam is a contributing columnist for Comixpedia.

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