Everything I Know About Relationships I Gleaned From a Comic Book

I often wonder what would have happened to me if I’d taken the relationship example of Betty/Archie/Veronica/Reggie seriously.

Not only did the look of the Archie comics I grew up with scream "Fifties" (Archie drives a jalopy. Who drives a jalopy? Did you know it’s just slang for a beater?), but it feels like the oldfashioned tradition of multiple dating never left. For one thing, did you ever notice how many times Betty lamented Veronica going steady with Archie? And how many times Archie lamented Veronica going steady with Reggie? And how many times Veronica was seething in jealousy because Archie was paying attention to Betty? Or how many times Reggie was plotting to take Archie down because Veronica was paying attention to him?

Does it seem to anyone else that there should be more names in there? Was it just too confusing to keep track of more characters?

I know Reggie chased Midge, who was with Big Moose (another thing that screams Fifties). That just seemed an aside when the storylines were on that Archie/Betty/Veronica triangle again.

If I had followed that logic, dating around would have been accepted. See, I’ve never been part of a peer group that accepted going out on dates with more than one guy at once. It was "dating" but it was just being friends. Since having a guy friend is more acceptable, "dating" your guy friend – acceptable then – seems very much more frowned upon or ridiculous now.

Except to your grandparents.

My one foray into an Archie situation was precisely an Archie/Veronica/Reggie sort of thing. Despite being a Brunette, I’m no Lodge. But that’s beside the point. I had the suave (yet vaguely sleazy) Reggie type wanting to take me to dinner and flash his cash (or in this case, American Express). And I had the Archie type, too – sweet, bumbling, broke. He didn’t even have a jalopy – just a yard sale of questionable legality on campus that made him very popular.

Trust me, there were no moments of high hilarity where my Archie and Reggie fought over me and I went running to Archie after Reggie punched him in the nose. In the end, I couldn’t put up with the running around, making excuses and time, and trying to be Veronica. I did something very Betty-ish. I decided to catch up on my homework.

Now I read comics with more realistic relationships. Though man, is there a hint of the Archies in College Roomies from Hell. Not to mention that whole love triangle in Strangers in Paradise. Does that make Katchoo Veronica and David Reggie?