Jon Rosenberg has been entertaining readers of his webcomic Goats since April 1st, 1997. What DON'T we know about you that you can give out without being arrested and/or lynched?
The government has used reverse-time engineering to eliminate most of the "facts" of my existence from the Bose-Einsteinian timestream. From what I've been able to gather over the last four years of espionage and adventuring, I was once in line to become the emir of Kazakhstan until American oil barons decided it wasn't in their best interests to see me sitting on a vast, untapped field of fourth-quarter profits.
I might also be George Clooney, but I've yet to find any real, hard evidence for that.
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